This morning I headed out to the trails for another long run. I needed 13 miles, but wanted to make sure to bump it up to 13.1 so that I got my Strava badge for the month. There was a decent sized group of people out for the run and we headed out promptly at 7am. The trails were in pretty decent shape, and we took off at a moderate pace. The weather was cold, around 3-4 degrees, but the sun promised to warm us as it got higher in the sky.

For the most part the first 5-6 were fine, and the second part of the main trail, that brings you to around 11.3 miles, was accomplished at about the same pace as a few weeks ago. I got back to the parking lot, dropped my frozen water bottle into my car and headed down the service road for a couple extra miles to finish it off. By this point I was pretty exhausted and the final 2 miles ended up being an alternating run/shuffle.

I got back to my car and just as I sat down my wife called me. She started asking how my run and if I had any thoughts about lunch, since she had just finished her run for the day as well. All of a sudden my brain was mush. I literally could not think at all. All I wanted to do was be angry. I told my wife that I simply couldn’t think about anything right now and I’d have to talk to her at home, and then started driving. The entire way home I was mad. My running this year hasn’t been as robust as I want it to be. My pace is slow, I’ve been running on snow and ice for longer than I want to, and I keep hitting little walls where I never hit them before.

So today ended up being a ‘I hate running’ day. I spent a good part of the morning with all the usual irrational thoughts in my head about how I don’t understand how my pace could have changed so much since last year, and how my legs hurt more this year, and how I don’t even want to care about any of the races I have planned. It was a moment of emotional angst, and with time comes clarity as usual.

Taking up trail running is tough. I’m more tired after 3-4 miles on the trails than 8-9 on the roads. It’s a lot rougher on my legs, navigating the rougher terrain and multitude of hills. I also gained way too much weight this holiday season so I’m carrying around a lot more than I should on my frame. It’s also a lot earlier in the year this year to ramp up the miles. Because it’s still winter, my running has been cold, icy and dark. All things a recipe for hating running. I’m sure it will pass in a few weeks and this year will shape up to be fine. I still remember struggling through my first 15 miler last year, yet I ended the year putting down my best 20 mile road time ever.

So it’s back at it next week. I’m finishing next weekend with a 10 mile race called the Hot Dash in Minneapolis. Maybe a little road pounding will help remind me that I’m still doing OK, and will help inspire me to keep going.

Oh… and to make this post cheerier here’s a picture of cats.

https://instagram.com/p/zqH41zEr2O/